By Otii esse
MON, AUGUST 13 2018-theG&BJournal-Rape victim stories can be very difficult to read, frightening and emotionally draining for some but stories of rape show other victims that they are not alone in their struggles.
Rape stories detail the many abuses that some people suffer and yet survive and go on to succeed in recovering and regaining control of their lives.
Rape victim stories can also help others to realize that there are other survivors that have been through exactly what they have and come out the other side a whole person.
The ripple effect it has on their lives
No hold barred account of their experiences, some were 5 years of age others were older when in they were molested by their siblings, parents and guardians. Regardless, the age many of them were affected socially, emotionally, maritally and worst of all the shame of having to live with the stigma.
ELLA
Ella a 25 years old lady was raped by her step father when she was at age of 5 it continued till was 16 when she got an admission to the university.
In her words she said, “I hated men and I never have any feelings for any man, I never liked or trusted any man. I hid under the disguise of being born again not to have intimate relationship with the opposite sex.
I couldn’t speak or discuss with anyone about it. Time passed by and I realised that I was in my mid thirties. My family members had asked me to go for deliverance on several occasions because they believed it was a spiritual husband that is withholding me from getting married. I did go on deliverance on several occasions but it didn’t change anything.
Until one day, I had the opportunity to speak with other friends, I was shocked to hear their experiences. That gave me the boldness to speak out. The day I spoke out was the day I was set free.
It was shock to know that it was not only women that are victims of raped men are not left out.
ALEX
Alex a- 28- years-old bankers, narrated how their nanny constantly molested him sexually. His own experience started when he was eight years old. Their nanny in the bid to bath him will start robbing his penis, until it became hard, gradually it developed from just robbing to inserting.
“There was this strong tone, she normally use (the nanny) if you tell you mummy I will cut off your penis”.
It lasted for a whole two years their nanny stayed till she was sacked for other offences.
I hated my mum who always left us in the care of this wicked nanny. I later realised that she did the same thing to my elder brother.
I’m married though, I didn’t have this affection and bond with my wife until I heard a colleague’s story, I took the bold step to narrate my experienced to my wife. That was the day I got my freedom
DAN
I thought that rape only included vaginal penetration with a penis. I thought it was always physically violent. I thought that if the victim or survivor didn’t say “no,” it wasn’t really rape.
Because she was a woman, and because of the circumstances surrounding the rape, my experience was “non-traditional.”
I knew what my perpetrator did was legally and ethically rape, yet I struggled to acknowledge my own pain. Part of the reason for this is that I had no blueprint to show me how to navigate my trauma: I hadn’t heard many stories about people who had been assaulted by women.
I was ashamed to admit to anyone that I was raped by a matured and influential lady in the society
Each of these rape stories speaks to the courage of the person who has shared it.
Not only did hearing other people’s story enable me to heal as a victim of rape, but it also enabled me to be more supportive to other people who’ve experienced sexual assault.
Judith
My experience was quite awful and traumatic, I remember that night my father came to my room, I thought it was his usual way of petting me before going to bed. But that fateful night he held me tight and say Judith don’t be afraid that was the last word I heard before he entered me.
It continue till 18 years before I gained admission into the university, I have this resentment against men
I never stopped wondering why my father could do a thing like that. All these happened under the nose of my mother. Being the kind of person my mother was, telling my mother was the worst thing that could’ve happened.
I lived in pain, denial, trauma all my days until I met my husband. I summoned the courage to open up to him, that was the day he proposed to marry me.
Bose
My brother Dayo started abusing me when I was about eight – years – old when I told my mother. She said I shouldn’t allow a third party to hear about it but she scolded my brother and warned him never to come close to me.
Still my brother would sneak into my room late at night (my mom rarely left us alone cause she was afraid he would sexually abuse me), at least three to four times a night.
One or two of those times he would rape me. And he raped me two ways, anally and vaginally. I remember that he would choke me. I think that once I passed out.
I stopped telling my mother and I suffered in the hands of my brother. Then I decided to leave and never return. If I had stayed I would’ve killed my brother.
According to UNICEF, six out of every twenty children in Nigeria experienced sexual abuse before the age of 18
Victims who speak out are likely to overcome the trauma.
