By Jaclyn IWU
TUE, 6 AUGUST 2016-In Nigeria people tend to hide and suppress emotions and at the same time, those who do not hide their emotions exhibit them negatively in most areas of their lives.
The stress level in Nigeria is very high and when stress clashes with emotions, the outcome is always negative vibes. Funny enough Nigerians do not care about reducing or managing their stress level through counseling/Therapies so most business owners and career persons we meet daily keep sending out wrong and dangerous signals thereby destroying their business and career growth.
I am going to point out how business owners and career savvy personnel can use their Emotional intelligence positively to achieve success.
What do I mean by Emotional Intelligence? This could actually sound new to people in our environment because, people here also do not value professional services like Mentoring, clinical therapy, general lifestyle counseling and other services that has to do with human inner self characteristics.
A corporate career minded lady one night discovered her husband has been cheating on her for as long as they were married and managed to go to work the following morning. At her work place, her boss called her in for an assignment and all she did was frown at her boss as he tells her what to do and when the man finished talking, she let out a big sigh and walked out.
This is a lady who has been picked for a promotion as one of the most promising staff to upgrade the image of her company. After she walked out on her boss, the man sat still wondering if he was dreaming because such attitude certainly should never come from the lady. He wondered if the lady had suddenly developed a psychiatric problem over the night. ‘’What is wrong with this lady?…the boss asked himself aloud.
What happened with the lady has to do with the lady not controlling her Emotions and managing her marital issues properly without allowing her husband cheating cripple her emotions and career life. This sounds easy than done but a fact that one must never mess with. She lost her cool and certainly was emotional absent while listening to the boss because her entire emotions were focused on her husband cheating and while the boss was talking , she was thinking of all the ugly things she was going to do to her husband. Here she was also faced with a man probably who also behaves like her husband telling her what to do and she flipped and allowed her beaten emotions to over ride her professionalism at work place. She never used her emotional intelligence well. Her emotional intelligence would have made her to be calm and calculated while at work place and not focusing on the marital issue. She could have also talked to the boss and requested for a day off to clear her head. This would have spared her such ugly drama that could lead to her getting fired or being issued a query by the boss.
Now from my counseling expertise, such a problem hardly goes away easily and the victim suffers for long months before healing and if such a person is the one that does not believe in seeking counseling/Therapy, the effects drags longer thereby disrupting or destroying the person’s business/career life.
A charming male entrepreneur had an ugly row on his way to work that made him so angry and as soon as he enters his outlet, a customer walks in to do some shopping. He was still in that bad mood from what happened on his way to work and was just attending to the customer casually without his usual charming and pleasantry mood. Customer finished shopping and the man has no balance to give to the customer after payment was made. He blurted out unconsciously—‘’ I have no change’’. The woman took one look at her and said- so what I am supposed to do….leave the money for you? The man reacted like where fuel was poured into a burning fire and angrily lashed out at the woman telling her she should have come in with the exact money to shop rather than come here to disturb him. The woman simply grabbed her money from the man’s hand, dumped the bag where all her shopping was packed and left angrily. If you shop regularly in this country, you must have been a victim of such scene or seen it happened. This happens all the time with shop outlets and it worries me how they mess up with customers in this area and losing their prospective customers day after day. This is not a way to grow or build up a business huh?
Sure, the shop owner had a problem that affected his emotions but his emotional intelligence would have set in once he got to his shop and a customer walked in to shop. He would have used his intelligence to know that the customer is not interested to know how he feels, was not aware what happened on his way and simply wanted to buy stuff comfortably and leave. If the money balance was so tight, it would have been better for him to even tell the woman gently to take her money and pay him next time. This is an attitude most Nigerian business owners can hardly exhibit not knowing that when a customer hears such comment, he/she gets the message that you care for him/her more than the money and you have gained not just her/his patronage but has raised the image of your brand/business image. Again the good attitude you give to customers never dies in their minds and will continue to upgrade your business image but the money can finish. Every customer wants to be appreciated while spending his/her money because you are not the only one doing such business but your Emotional intelligence in knowing how to treat and manage your customers will make you to stand out in the midst of tons of similar business owners in your community and environment. I will not be wrong to tell you here that when we coach on Customer service, most of the coaching deals with Emotional intelligence. You can now see why i use it here to relate to business and career.
Finally, let us not forget that people who own business and career are still same people who are married or in love relationships and it might surprise you to hear from me that people’s love lives affects their business and career massively. So try to stabilize your married life and love relationships which deals a lot with Emotions/Stress and your work place will not be a war zone for you and your associates. I think it is high time Nigerians come out of their primitive ideas of not seeking/paying for Counseling /Stress Therapy.
Jaclyn IWU is a Life/Business/Career Coach A stress Management Expert &Conference Speaker TWITTER @Jacquiworld
